STICKY: Syncope, Table of Contents

…A Mai-HiME (My-HiME) Natsuki/Shizuru fanfic with appearances by old and new cast.

syn·co·pe n.
1. Grammar. The shortening of a word by omission of a sound, letter, or syllable from the middle of the word.
2. Pathology. A brief loss of consciousness caused by a temporary deficiency of oxygen in the brain; a swoon, blackout.

57,600 completed / ???,??? total estimated
Almost 50%

Table of Contents

Syncope: Part 1
Chapter Involved Brief
1.1 Shizuru and Natsuki. Living together, dinner on Friday night. (Intro)
1.2 Shizuru, Natsuki, Reito, Nari. Breakfast, meeting, problem?
1.3 Natsuki and Mai. Cooking, conversations of love.
1.4 Shizuru, Reito, Yukino, Haruka, Nari, (newchars2). Student council meeting on the cusp.
1.5 Natsuki, Shizuru, Yoko, Mai, (newchars2). Calling in sick.
1.6 Shizuru, Natsuki, Mai, Reito (sort of). Prognosis, compromise.
1.7 Natsuki, Mai, Nao, (newchars2). A dream, a plan, a picnic.
0.1 Omake: “Du-chan” Natsuki, Shizuru, shopping
1.8 Nari, Yukino (sort of), Shizuru, Natsuki, (newchars2). Good morning.
1.9 Shizuru, Reito, Natsuki, (newchars2). A mirror, a letter, a crane.
0.2 Omake: “Fifteen” Natsuki’s fifteenth birthday.
1.10 Natsuki, Nao, Shizuru, (newchars2), Nari. A grassplot.
1.11 Yukino, Haruka, Shizuru, Natsuki, Nari. An argument.
1.12 Shizuru, Nari, (newchars2), Natsuki. Matter-of-course.
Syncope: Part 2

Current stats: 11+2 chapters completed, ~57600 words.

Description and explanation

Canonical references:

  • Mai-HiME TV series, including at least some of extended episode 26*
  • Natsuki’s Prelude from art books 1 and 2, translated by apollyon_0
  • Research questions posted here and answered by readers :)

(*I didn’t know about the extended ep 26 until after I had outlined and started writing back in 2006; I’ve since seen this extended director’s cut version and will likely add bits of it if I haven’t already, but I’m not going out of my way to do so. I’m also skipping the other secondary material like CDs.)

The first part (12 chapters outlined) will have cameo roles from a number of the HiME TV cast and some additional (attempted) closure among their relationships since the end of the TV series. A few new characters are also introduced in Part 1 but their roles are really for Part 2.

The timeline for Part 1 is in the spring break before the new school year (where Natsuki and Mai et al will start their second year, Shizuru et al have graduated, etc.). It’s important to remember that the HiME festival ended sometime probably in November (definitely before winter) while the end of episode 26 is the end of the school year in March. Info via ifuritka. Therefore, realize that roughly four months have passed since the whole HiME fiasco, and a lot can happen in four months. *Even that timeline has a problem: If we go from Shizuru with the falling autumn maple leaves to the last episode with the sakura bloom, why are Reito and Mikoto still injured from that last fight with OL? Shizuru couldn’t have been all insane-y throughout a skipped winter season and into the spring. Actually, the more I think about it, the more the Mai-HiME ending PISSES ME OFF.

It’s a pretty tight timeline that I’m not too happy about due to a comical and retarded fic planning error which you can read about here. Anyway, I’m trying to concentrate on pure character development in Part 1, so the overall story may seem fairly incidental compared to micro-plots.

Part 2 is dealing entirely with Shizuru’s backstory, specifically her family background and stuff that happened before she met Natsuki, so… new characters are required. Of course, Natsuki will be heavily involved, sort of weaving her into Shizuru’s backstory more; I will also be adding in roles for the old cast. The timeline will be during the school year, so I have to do a lot more research before I begin sketching the outline more. Planning more psychological closure for Shizuru and Natsuki.

Chapters themselves are not commentable (is that even a word?), but each chapter will have a link to the corresponding notes at the bottom, where you can leave comments. Yes, I am far too uncreative to think of chapter titles, so all you get are these boring numbers reminiscent of software releases. Sorry. :)

As I say in the first set of Notes, this is my first time writing fiction of any sort, so I’m trying to make it readable at least… I’m fairly confident in my language skills but not in the properly-convey-creative-thought-process part. Dialogue is still a pain…

Critiquing/Reviewing/Contact Me

Like any other writer/artist/creator/etc., I appreciate the usual pats-on-the-back. But while I appreciate short comments and reviews and the like, what I’m really after are detailed critiques and analyses for the purpose of improvement. Since this is my first experiment in creative writing, the entire process is an educational experience for me.

Here are legitimate areas of discussion for a real critique: characterization (cast personalities, etc.), continuity (plot errors, awkward scenes), technical accuracy (word choice, grammar, etc.), pacing, setting, abstractions (underlying psychology, symbols, etc.), personal interpretations*, etc. *I’m very unlikely to further discussion about interpretations when I feel it may spoil later content; and I definitely won’t answer direct plot questions that concern future content. And honestly, if you spot a space that should be a hyphen or anything else “minor,” please do tell me.

Of course, understand that critiques are taken under advisement, and I may or may not make suggested changes. Here’s a good example of a proper “critique,” and there are certainly other examples throughout my site, so feel free to review other comments.

You can contact me by leaving a comment somewhere (preferably on-topic) or through the contact form under the About menu in the upper left of this website.

Thanks for reading!


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