Omake 0.1 NOTES

natsuki

Explanation of these omake:

The “omake” chapters I think I’ll be occasionally adding will be an expansion of any event or object I refer to in the Syncope fic, but they will always occur before the timeline of the actual fic, which is why I’m numbering them “0.x.” This is basically an excuse for me to write the fluffy flashbacks I wanted to add to Syncope but would be way too long. :P The omake chapters won’t occur in chronological order, either (0.2 might be far in the past compared to 0.1, for instance). They might not be Shizuru/Natsuki. Consider them one-shots, but still tied in with something from Syncope. I’m open to omake chapter suggestions…

Yes, I’m aware the userpic icon is the same as chapter 1.7. This is because I published these two at the same time, so I didn’t bother changing the userpic this time. Oh well.


Quick notes:

Weather: The city around Fuuka isn’t Tokyo, but I’m basing the weather more closely to it; winters rarely bring snow to Tokyo, and the temperature is usually above the freezing point, but cold enough for a winter coat and gloves and such. On the other hand, the west coast of the main island bears the brunt of a wind system that can bring heavy snow. Kyoto has a bit more extreme weather than Tokyo, I believe (more snow, hotter/muggier summers).

Japanese shopping arcades:
http://www.frommers.com/destinations/tokyo/0085037709.html
http://www.flickr.com/search/?w=all&q=japan+shopping+arcade&m=text

Akita and Shiba Inu (dog breeds):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akita_Inu
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiba_Inu
(Oh, gods, so cute [head explodes]. There are several Japanese dog breeds, a few which resemble the Akita or vice versa, but I happened to choose the largest and smallest of the Japanese breeds for comparison, and they look pretty similar.)

gyokuro: The highest form of green tea in Japan, excluding matcha, which is only for the tea ceremony. There are many other types of tea under those levels, including sencha (common) and bancha (low grade). I made up the brand.

Japanese mayonnaise: …is different from American/European mayonnaise, and there are some soy-based options. I posted links in an earlier research entry already.

And finally, yes, I’m fully aware I could have changed the tone of the ending lines completely, but I wanted it to end on a sweet note, not a perverted or overly teasing one. :P

Next chapter: 1.8

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26 thoughts on “Omake 0.1 NOTES”

  1. soooo cute *melts*
    (this process won’t stop for the next few hours :D)

    To your notes:
    according to what we have seen in the anime the weather around Fuuka should be warmer than around Tokyo (sakura blossom time), but indeed it has to be cold enough to wear gloves and so on :D

    Oh, Akita is double cute for this famous story of it’s loyality (what makes another meaning to your story).

    Argh…why do you have to mention gyokuro? It’s so hard to get where I live. TT

    Mayonnaise is very different also in Western countries. At the place I live they produce mayo totally different in taste to the others. The recipe is very well protected :D

    And finnally: sweet… but it is still perverted, you know ;D.(and I like it:>) OK, maybe it’s me, maybe it’s the weather, but… poor Shizuru, I have to say :D.

    1. Mmm, Hachiko. :) Indeed, Du-chan can be interpreted a few different ways as a symbol.

      I’m pretty sure I’ve never had gyokuro, so stop complaining. :P

      What, actually perverted? I thought I took it out don’t quite see it… ^^;

  2. Did I write something? nah… ;P
    huh…you took it out already…not well enough… so sooner or later some fans will force you to write ShizNat smut:D…after this sample I know it will be interesting to read :>

  3. ok this omake is the cutest one i have read as of yet.

    your writing skills are quite impressive and i really like the style in which you write in. :D

    keep up the good work!

    hope to read more of your fics.

  4. *stretches*
    ‘sbeen a while.

    By the way, I don’t think there’s been anything in “Syncope” so far that could even be remotely considered as “perverted”.
    *pauses in thought*
    Well, unless you count the lesbian element, since a lot of people nowadays (and not-so-nowadays) seem to think it is. But phooey (and pooey) to them. Anyway…

    I’ve recently come to the realisation that it makes a sentence particularly “Japanese” (at least to me) when one refers to another in the third person, even when one is speaking to that person, simply because it is considered rather rude otherwise, but… I digress.

    *goes back to reviewing*

    Natsuki merely grunted and maneuvered around a group of adolescents accumulating at a shoe store entrance

    *sniggers* Sorry. Funny imagery. May I suggest “congregating” or something similar? Mind, “accumulating” is perfectly alright, but, you know, the imagery.

    She had been seeing less and less of her presidential friend, as the girl was hiding in meetings or holed up in her dorm room or the library to work and study. The younger girl couldn’t help but become worried.

    I think you’re doing too much of that stuff again. I would suggest changing that back to “Natsuki”.

    It wasn’t like Shizuru to not be surrounded by a gaggle of other students in large, public areas–or rather, it wasn’t like Shizuru to avoid such places, either.

    The double negative in there can be slightly confusing, but I’m not sure how we could work around that, since I really would prefer to keep the “It wasn’t like…” beginning. Anyway…
    Re: gaggle
    Honk honk!
    *grins*

    Finally taking matters into her own hands, Natsuki cooked up a plan: She knew Shizuru enjoyed this particular shopping arcade

    Eh, I might be mistaken, but I don’t think I am… I don’t think “she” should be capitalised after the colon.

    Natsuki pretended to windowshop

    *taps chin* I do believe that “windowshop” should be hyphenated.

    *drumroll*
    And Du-chan makes his entrance!

    She began to tweak the ears with both hands and make cooing noises, much to the younger girl’s embarrassment.

    *cough* And would Du-chan possess remarkable gravity-defying qualities in addition to his cuteness? Or would our ever graceful kaichou-sama be… holding Du-chan up between her elbows in a most awkward and ungainly manner? :O *horrified*

    Shizuru fondled the slightly floppy, pellet-filled body

    FLOOPY. XD

    Shizuru ignored the hissed outburst and continued to pet the thing until she finally looked up with that frighteningly mischievous look.

    Eh, I don’t know, but wouldn’t it show nonchalance or uncaring-ness of some sort by calling Du-chan “the thing” in that context?

    Digression: I think I will scream if someone starts calling Natsuki a “bluenette”. Oh, and what, would Mai be an “orangenette”? Or an orangutan? And let me guess… Mikoto would be a “blackette!” Thenceforth, physically darkish people will be known as “brownnettes”… brunettes will be no more! (Although we will still make the distinction between “blackettes” and “brownnettes”, even though “brownnette” is a misnomer.)
    </weird>

    1. The brunette blinked as her precious friend stalked down the aisle with the puppy stuffed under her arm, its head comically peeking out back at Shizuru.

      XD This part is hilarious. I would be sniggering if it really were a part of Mai-HiME. As we all know, Mai-HiME needs to centre more on the Shizuru/Natsuki dynamics.

      Re: restaurant exchange between Shizuru and Natsuki
      It’s always very amusing to see Natsuki trying to get the upper hand and genuinely thinking that she succeeded when in reality, it is Shizuru who made it that way.

      The light, woody sounds of chopsticks and glassy sounds of other tableware

      Ummmm… “glassy sounds”? o.o Ehhh… how about… “tinkling”? ^^;

      Natsuki watched her do this and suppressed the urge to shoot her friend an annoyed glance at the innuendo

      Umm… I don’t get the innuendo. *is stupid* I get annoyed when I have to explain stuff that should be (and therefore, should stay) “between the lines”, buuuut… … *trails off*
      Or is this one of those things that are too obvious for me to grasp? I can be like that.

      They enjoyed the exquisite sushi, fine mayonnaise and other sauces, the fine tea, and each other

      I don’t know, I’ve always thought that it seemed weird the way you worded it, how they “enjoyed each other”, in essence. I think… perhaps, “the company of each other” would be better?

      her political knowledge greatly increased with more regular attendance

      Choppy “more”? Pantyhose… XD

      Amusement raised a dark blue eyebrow as Natsuki imagined Shizuru’s room actually “messy.”

      “… actually being ‘messy'”?

      The younger girl left her mouth slightly open as she began to speak, but stopped when she caught a trace of something melancholy in the slanted reflection of half-closed red eyes.

      Melancholic?

      A bright smile slowly enveloped her face as Shizuru realized the meaning behind Natsuki’s words. She lifted her arms to hug Du-chan to her body and gazed at both it and her friend adoringly. With a smile and a brisk turn, Natsuki lifted an arm to wave back.

      Um… Natsuki didn’t leave yet. Well, you didn’t say she left, anyway.

      “Shizuru doesn’t have too many cuddly things in her place either.”

      I dunno, but I think this would work better as a thought, and not as something that Natsuki says out loud, be it a whisper or murmur or something else.

      And… “at”. At her place.

      From the anonymous poster who has the ridiculous handle of “I”.

    2. > perverted
      Nope. I usually make sure there’s none of that (or take it out). ^_^; Actually, probably less of the latter since I don’t think I’m talented with that kind of material anyway. [shrug]

      > I’ve recently come to the realisation that it makes a sentence particularly “Japanese” (at least to me) when one refers to another in the third person, even when one is speaking to that person

      Yep. It seems fairly common, possibly in other languages as well.

      > accumulating–May I suggest “congregating” or something similar?

      That was actually the intent, also from Natsuki’s implied POV since she probably would look down on that sort of activity. I think.

      > I don’t think “she” should be capitalised after the colon.

      I’m not sure if this is Chicago or Gregg’s, but one of the grammar manuals here says independent clauses after colons should be capitalized… I think.

      > And would Du-chan possess remarkable gravity-defying qualities in addition to his cuteness? Or would our ever graceful kaichou-sama be… holding Du-chan up between her elbows in a most awkward and ungainly manner? :O *horrified*

      I have no idea what you’re talking about. ^_^ FLOOPY.

      > “the thing”
      I think I switched the implied POV by accident. Oops.

      I think I’ve seen a fic or two refer to Natsuki as “bluette” or something. Weird, though.

      1. > Ummmm… “glassy sounds”? o.o Ehhh… how about… “tinkling”? ^^;

        …Because “tinkling” is also American slang for urinating. ^_^;;
        Stupid American slang.

        > I don’t get the innuendo.
        I’m actually going to take that out. No worries.

        > “the company of each other”
        Hm, yes, better.

        > being ‘messy’
        I don’t know. Hmm. Have a usage rule?

        > melancholy vs. melancholic
        I don’t know about this, either. Both are adjectives, right? Usage rule somewhere? Of course, “melancholic” tends to make me think of an intestinal problem, but that’s probably just me.

        > With a smile and a brisk turn, Natsuki lifted an arm to wave back.

        I was actually trying to describe the (Japanese?) practice where a person turns his/her back but waves “to them” with the back of his/her hand–at least, I’ve seen this in some anime/manga. I think Westerners would twist a bit and wave with their palm side. Hmmm. ?

        In… at… inside… within… ^_^;

        1. >perverted
          Well, yeah, that was what I was saying. That you just didn’t put that stuff in. Soooooo there isn’t much of an element of “want” in whether it turns out that way or not. It just wouldn’t. *thumbs down for perverted stuff* I have blocked out everything from the lingerie episode except for Shizuru’s “ikezu”.

          >accumulating/congregating

          That was actually the intent, also from Natsuki’s implied POV since she probably would look down on that sort of activity. I think.

          Well, yeah, I know that was your intent, else I wouldn’t have suggested that word, but it just seemed… weird to put “accumulating” there. Dunno. And I don’t really think Natsuki looking down on that sort of thing has any bearing on the “accumulating vs. congregating” thing. But of course, it’s your call.

          > And would Du-chan possess remarkable gravity-defying qualities in addition to his cuteness? Or would our ever graceful kaichou-sama be… holding Du-chan up between her elbows in a most awkward and ungainly manner? :O *horrified*

          I have no idea what you’re talking about. ^_^ FLOOPY.

          See, you had Shizuru play with Du-chan’s ears with both hands. How on earth would she do that while holding Du-chan? I really don’t see Natsuki scowling and holding Du-chan up for Shizuru to play with. o_O And Shizuru already had Du-chan in her hands, and I really don’t see Shizuru putting Du-chan down. It’s just not done. (I don’t think an average girl would put something down in that manner after expressedly finding it cute. Cuddling it and cooing is a lot more expected, shall we say. Especially in Shizuru’s case, since she finds that Du-chan bears some sort of likeness to her Natsuki-chan. Well, enough to remind her of Natsuki.)

          …Because “tinkling” is also American slang for urinating. ^_^;;
          Stupid American slang.

          Yeah, I went to check it up to make sure of something, and then I was all o_O over its slang meaning.

          > I don’t get the innuendo.
          I’m actually going to take that out. No worries.

          Since you’re going to take it out, will you please tell me what it was supposed to be? :B

          >melancholy vs. melancholic
          Yeah, it’s one of those “it’s just me” (a.k.a. “personal preference) things. Kindly ignore me on that point. I just feel “melancholy” is a lot more… nouny than adjectivey.

          I was actually trying to describe the (Japanese?) practice where a person turns his/her back but waves “to them” with the back of his/her hand–at least, I’ve seen this in some anime/manga. I think Westerners would twist a bit and wave with their palm side. Hmmm.

          Nononono. I meant that you didn’t even say Natsuki left. I was thinking that she was still standing in front of Shizuru at the door when whoosh, all of a sudden Natsuki’s over there waving. o.o

          Ew, you and your American usage things. >_<
          *hits you on the head repeatedly with Du-chan*
          :D

          And no, I don’t have usage rules for those things. I am always inexplicably overcome by irrepressible somnolence whenever I have to look at more “technical” things.

          And are you saying that you’re going to avoid every single word that has “bad” slang-ish meanings to it? o_O I mean, if you’re resorting to “glassy sounds”…

          … …
          … … …

          1. > See, you had Shizuru play with Du-chan’s ears with both hands. How on earth would she do that while holding Du-chan?

            Ah, gotcha. Forgot I had her pick him up first.

            >> I was actually trying to describe the (Japanese?) practice where a person turns his/her back but waves “to them” with the back of his/her hand–at least, I’ve seen this in some anime/manga. I think Westerners would twist a bit and wave with their palm side. Hmmm.

            > Nononono. I meant that you didn’t even say Natsuki left. I was thinking that she was still standing in front of Shizuru at the door when whoosh, all of a sudden Natsuki’s over there waving. o.o

            Well, yes, I could add a bit about her in the process of walking away, but what I had in mind was the brisk turning away part first, then raising the arm. There’s no great distance to begin with.

            > Ew, you and your American usage things. >_<
            Go read something else. :P

            > And no, I don’t have usage rules for those things.
            Anyone who’s going to get nitpicky should! Hmph. I look down on you.

            > And are you saying that you’re going to avoid every single word that has “bad” slang-ish meanings to it? o_O I mean, if you’re resorting to “glassy sounds”…

            Depends on the word. If it’s something that had a slang meaning in the 1920’s but not now, then I think not. “Tinkle” is fairly common, thoug.

            1. XD

              I forgot the quotation mark, and you forgot the H. Heh.

              Well, uh, I think there’s still miscommunication on our part, or we’re just not thinking the same way or something. I’m kinda thinking Natsuki is… right smack in front of Shizuru.

              I mean regular talking-to-someone-you’re-close-to distance. And… … *flails about* … how does that work out?

              Are you not going to tell me about the innuendo? =(
              *sniff*

              Oh waitwaitwait. So… Natsuki… turns away first… and then she does the waving thingie? *squints and tries to imagine it*
              C’est… un peu bizarre, peut-être?

              I thought they usually… walked off a bit first and then do the waving thingie.

              And no, I don’t have usage rules for those things.
              Anyone who’s going to get nitpicky should! Hmph. I look down on you.

              Only if you’re physically taller than me, bub. :D

              Well, I-like-my-As-more-than-my-Is, I don’t think all areas worthy of nitpickiness merit that. ^__^

              Ummmmm… clattering, then? -___- But tinkling works perfectly. And I am still oblivious to its more colloquial meaning. ^__^
              How about chinking? Or are you going to tell me that it’s a derisive way of calling Chinese people and not use that either?

              You’re too hard to please. I should know. I’m the Reigning Monarch over hard-to-please-ness. XD

              I am making… keyboardy sounds as I type. °_°

              1. Sure, more distance can be added.
                I still look down on you. ^_^ Hmph.

                clattering = dropping something, loudly
                chinking = metallic armor
                keyboardy sounds = possibly clacking :P

                NEXT!

                1. You’re such a hard-to-please bum. Tinkling is perfect, and you ruin it with… urine. ANYWAY.

                  “One” is perfectly okay, at least in my opinion. But it does get rather… tedious if you use “one” extensively.

                  I stand by my keyboardy sounds, you floopster.

                  I make… talky sounds as I keyboardy my way through your “glassy sounds”. :O

                  I look down on you and your glassy sounds. ^_^

                  *steps up on a stool to emphasise point*

                    1. ­¬_¬ …

                      Now what, this time?

                      *moseys over to my trusty online dictionary*

                      *scratches head confusedly*

                      Um… jail? I dunno.

                      You Americans and your weird colloquialisms. *looks down (hah!) with disdain*

                      You know, I really don’t care what you use at this point– how about the “squishing sounds”? XD– as long as you take away the “glassy sounds”. ^_^

                      Phase Two of my Nefarious Plan™ entails abducting you and using creative methods to make you tell me the reasoning behind your merciless and seemingly unconnected hints to “Syncope”. (Oops, did I say clack that out loud?)

                    2. Ha ha, yes, gaol, but that’s not as “gross” as tinkle can be. We have a lot of regionalism, actually, so I’ve never heard “clink” in my area, only in the public media.

                      Hints? Whatever do you mean? [blinks innocently] i’m just a n00b writur with no xperienz, man.

                    3. *weep*

                      Should I use “gaol”? It’s so very British, but I keep thinking of The Merchant of Venice, if I see it. ^^;

                      Hints? Whatever do you mean? [blinks innocently] i’m just a n00b writur with no xperienz, man.

                      OMG ur kiding mi hear ur lyke……. a writur! lyke dat totlly blows mi meeniskule breen too peicez!!!

                    4. I mentally pronounce gaol as “Gaul.” ^_^;

                      > OMG ur kiding mi hear ur lyke……. a writur! lyke dat totlly blows mi meeniskule breen too peicez!!!

                      ………..I sooooooo cannot read that.


                      x_x :P

                    5. XD I know I keep pronouncing “gaol” wrong in my head, so I don’t even dwell on it, and force myself to think “jail”. But yeah… “Gaul” for me too. ^__^

                      ………..I sooooooo cannot read that.

                      Only because of my superior intellect.
                      </haughty>

                      :D

        2. Noooooo!
          I forgot a quotation mark. =(

          I don’t even want to read what I wrote anymore, lest I find another mistake. (Hah, see, “lest” is not uncommon! Well, people have said that “one” sounds stuffy but I still use it. ^_^; Heh.)

          Floopster.

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